多情

The mere existence of this post reflects my high degree of loneliness and crave for love. It is part and parcel of life to feel this way for a boy, or a young adult, at his late 10s. Even the taboo of lust in this conservative mindset can't hold back the instinct it ought to suppress. Just read an article about why boys at my age tend to crave hungrily for a relationship no matter how transient it would be in reality. I've begin to question my need, my love and my hunger for her after that, and they all relate almost wholly to those mentioned within that article. This is not my first time I've thought about it in the pragmatic sense, and because of this I have frequently oscillated back and forth between that of continuing and discontinuing it as circumstances dictates. The conclusion is that I was and still am vulnerable to current circumstances in the relational context, given the urge to write this to forgive myself and given the impulsive and shaky swings I have made whenever I assumed she changed sides.

I knew she had good feelings for me, as to whether or not she liked me, not up to me to contemplate. So whether or not she had actually changed sides, or have been on my side at all, cannot be compared to the petty actions of mine. She hates me I know, and she could also like me all of a sudden. Whatever the case, even a judicial person would say that I was unable to become a sanctuary for her heart, and she would be better off with someone else. Should I step in to interfere with her decision on who she likes? No, even if I knew it wouldn't last, or if he is taking advantage of her. Redemption is only to give her what she wants and what she asks. I would not delve deep into what she hides underneath her masks, because that would frequently mean giving more than what she asks for. I would tone down the show my gifts of artistic expression and intellectual capability make, in order to mix in better with the immediate society, and only show them when the situation calls for it --- for a apparent genius, only during crazy times; for a powerful entrepreneur, only behind the scenes. That should make her smile.

I felt exhausted when the society stereotypes a perfect man as an intellectually inclined, morally strong, physically fit, humourous, powerful and approachable man. A man of Confucian values is not possible in times when we are more integrated into the surroundings. A genius or entrepreneur is crazy, and may not be easily approachable. An all rounder would always be the eye for the girls, but that would mean that he would be putting on a show, a man with no morals. Even if such a man is possible, a rather rare breed, he would still be tied down to the responsibilities naturally endowed upon him that he would someday reach the breaking point, not even to mention the decisions we make during the 21st century, when these decisions are no longer buffered by the smaller interconnectivity of the past. Striving to become a perfect man is therefore extremely exhaustive, if not possible. Girls are undeniably attracted to these sort of golden harvest, and if you set your heart out to become such a difference because you like someone, know your limits. Never forget to know when and how to pay attention to her. That's why they say, a normal man is good, because it is not the talent that matters in the long run, the ability and passion to pay attention to her is the only thing that matters. Girls, never approach a gifted person, unless you are sure he can pay attention to you.

I hope she still understand, when I promised her that I pay attention to your heart, I did. Given how many other males stared at her when she dressed so little, I felt unsafe, and insisted on following her back, unwittingly becoming a threat in her eyes. I sought to reform the robotics club to build up my skills as a corporate leader and a social glue, so that I can find the materialistic means of taking care of her. I worked really hard to build up my achievements, even at the expense of my health, so I could follow her up to university, and put some stability in this relationship, if it even ever existed. I pledged to serve the public, so that at the same time, I don't lose in touch with social needs and naturally be able to interpret what she wants. To create a better world, my second nature, and I don't want her to be left out. Ultimately, all these backfired because I spent too much time building up my profile to take care of her.

She doesn't want it, at least whenever she looked at how I treated her. I know. That girl, I have disappointed. At the brink of giving up, it seems a better choice she went on with somebody else. I was a little tired also, and I shouldn't concern myself over this relationship as an exchange, that if and only if she loves me, I would love her back. Somebody must start that cycle first. She had sort of given me chances, but every time she does that, I would always disappoint her. I would repent, but I should not expect her to like me at all. As to whether or not I am doing it out of love, time will tell.

I haven't really wrote this to forgive myself. I humbly admit that I knew many ways of playing politics, and I would naturally understand this post as a petty and unconvincing post to the eyes of the person that I have disgraced. Action is redemption, words aren't.

LYC,

20110815 Monday：谢和弦 ft. 徐佳莹 - 柳树下

20110815 Monday: Leona Lewis - I See You

Great vocals by Leona Lewis, excellently composed.

SCIAM - Take a look at mis-believing.

This could be the psychology to stand out.

June 29, 2010

You Have Superpowers

How to tap the strange power of being wrong

By Adam Waytz

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=you-have-superpowers&sc=WR_20100702

Just being random with Paint Dot Net. Copyright.

My First Trigger-Fired Rubber-Band-Powered Lego "Rifle"

What a long title. Sounds very childish too... Well something like "My First Book" or the label "My First Telescope" on the spyglass that was tossed somewhere into a corner of my study room...

Anyway, these are just some photos of my legacy. Taken using my phone which had dropped inside a bucket of water at the time when I was carrying the clutches.

The Clip. Not very Aerodynamic, loses integrity after about 15 metres.

The Trigger. This trigger features a trigger lock as well

The Trigger with my hand for scale.

My Rifle.

My Rifle from the front. 2 more wheels are going to be added to the front to ease movement of rubber bands. 10 rubber bands in total connected in a chain.

The Clip travels extremely fast, and bends up to more than 90 degrees after hitting a hard surface. You can imagine how high the ratio of KE to mass is. Moreover, over the 6 to 7 metres I have tested, the clip reached the other end in about 0.2 seconds. For what I know, it is a lot faster than my reaction time. But trust me, I could improvise the speed by about 1.5 to 2 times within the coming year.

Browser Size: a tool to see how others view your website

Browser Size. Check this out if you want your blog to be appropriately designed and suited for browsers of all or most viewing-sizes.

According to Google, you blog is just like a newspaper's cover. Quite true actually. Like what happens if you write extremist or childish profanities on the first line and then good interesting stuff after scrolling down, normal people won't continue reading; but if you write it the other way round, the public would just close that page later...

Yes. Later.

So at least you still got a chance to express yourself for a bit. Even if it's just a bit, it could be quite useful to advertise yourself if you check that link out.

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BTW, I don't know. I haven't use that tool.

Proto4B

My Team presents: well, do I nd to mention? -.-... Oh wow I just wasted more energy typing this sentence out than "Proto4B". ...
Anyway, Proto4B is intended to be our final prototype. Expect final design to surface out of this prototype. We will be using Foam for the entire body for testing purposes and for economical reasons. The foam version could serve as our final build and actual flying craft, if everything goes well.

Proto4A

In case you are wondering how badly our team has been progressing for SAFMC, this is time to show you how slow we are: Proto4A. We are currently working on Proto4B. It has been 3.5 months for our total working time with ZX and I working full-time. And during this period we have learnt much, experienced much and forgave much. LOLz in any case: Our latest proto,

This image has been used as a background on our latest PPT for showcasing what we have done so far.

These photos courtesy of ZX and his 8-megapixel phone camera. This design and all of our following designs copyrighted. All Rights Reserved at all times.

THIS IS THE QUOTE FOR TODAY:

"We (Americans) are the lavishest and showiest and most luxury-loving people on the earth; and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen."

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

LOLz.

The Ugly Woman

Anyway,

I've got a flu and it kept me awake last night. I couldn't concentrate much tonight and therefore couldn't do work... So I thought I might give the "Paint" in Windows 7 a try... Real Cool. Many brush types, much more features than the one on XP, and it's better than what I expected for the version on Windows 7. I thought it would be as dull and plain as the version on XP. LOLz. So this is what I drew. What you see here is no piece of fine art... that's because I can't really focus; and instead of caring about the final quality, I drew in what I thought was immediately appropriate.